Sometimes it can be hard to crank one of these out. Except for going to What Really Happened and the Truthseeker I don’t think I’ve seen any news at all. I haven’t been answering my emails. I leave my house on quick runs to the store for dog food. I don’t talk to anybody.... Thousands of black birds landed on my lawn a few minutes ago. It was an impressive sight. I’ve got a whole lot of lawn and that was a whole lot of birds. Last year seven white doves used to land on my lawn. Then there were fourteen of them and then there was twenty one and I haven’t seen them again. I don’t know what it means. Maybe it’s one of those, “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar” or birds will be birds. I don’t know. I think that’s the key feature. I don’t know.
I’ve been the beneficiary of a crushing weight lately. I feel like Atlas without the shoulder muscles. Sometimes I catch myself all slouched over and I have to make myself straighten up. I don’t like slouching. I don’t like it when my posture is not straight.
The weather has been wack. They say they haven’t seen anything like this last winter for over forty years. The rains were incredible. I had some problems that I won’t go into but they were major and it took some time to restore order. If you’ve ever lived in the desert and seen those large dry washes and what can happen to them with very little warning then you know what I mean. It wasn’t that bad but it was that kind of thing. I’ve got a dry wash that bisects part of my property and then I had a river... well, river is an exaggeration but it sounded like one.
Last night I had an extremely lucid dream. I was in a city somewhere and the water was rising. This is one of those dreams that just kept right on going the whole night long. At one point I got up to take a leak and then went back and it picked right up again. It was as plot detailed as a good feature length movie. I was always moving to higher ground. Sometimes I was in a tall building and the building began to go. Somehow I always managed to continue on. I lost companions along the way. There were times when there seemed to be no higher ground and then higher ground would always appear.
At the end... the higher ground was some sort of a park with ancient buildings and then there was no higher ground and the water which had kept on coming all along the torturous series of events finally stopped coming and I was in this place with these ancient buildings that were ruins for the most part and there was greenery everywhere and no other people... no animals and no birds... just me moving through the area and not knowing what any of it meant.
Due to my more that casual psychotropic journeys in the past, I experience some outrageous dreams in full blown color and I’m always glad to go to sleep because I don’t know what might happen and it’s nearly always enjoyable even when it scares the shit out of me... I like it. This time it had a lot more than the character of a dream. I could see details in people’s faces and there was a complexity of emotions that I don’t usually encounter. There were a lot of people trying to save themselves and they always seemed to go the wrong way. Often I couldn’t do much more than to stay focused and usually in dreams I am not concerned with focus. There was something very different this time.
It brings me back to why it’s been difficult to write another one of these. I told myself it didn’t matter if I did or not anyway because there are about seven hundred of these things in the different blogs and that really ought to cover at least my personal take on anything and any one of them could be tarted up as something new.
It’s got something to do with April coming. For me personally, April has often been “the cruelest month”. I got sent off to prison twice in April and there was that military thing and a couple of other episodes though, April has been kinder this last decade; at least so that I can’t single it out for anything. Life isn’t as hard for me as it is for so many people now because I have nothing to lose anyway. I don’t play the stock market. I don’t have a 401K and I am unlikely to claim Social Security when that time arrives. I retired on nothing years ago and I live by invisible means. You may not believe in such things but I’m living proof. Of course, it helps if you don’t want anything either. Lao Tzu said it well as he said everything well, “cut down on useless craving”. You’re only poor if you want shit you don’t need. The universe seems to be inclined to take care of everything else.
I read somewhere (wish I had saved it) that this April there’s a near exact configuration as existed at the start of one of the last World Wars and I’m getting this antsy thing and all sorts of premonitions about the period between April and June of this year. I don’t think it has anything to do with the birds on my lawn during either period or that dream I had last night which was mega powerful. I don’t think it has anything to do with my recent Jeremiads at that public toilet of a forum called The Best of the Fray. On the other hand, I don’t know. I do know that I feel this weight which I think is somehow connected to the pressure so many are feeling and to the general mood of gloom as we watch everything being stolen by certain psychopaths that no one seems willing to identify as such except for a few brave souls upon whom scorn and derision are heaped.
Listen up children... very few people want to hear the truth. The truth is not welcome in their homes; in their churches, in their communities, in their places of employment, in their romantic engagements, on their lips and even when it starts to pound them in the least desirable part of their anatomy they are going to pretend it isn’t happening and they are going to go to the pharmacy and the liquor store and they are going to deny and deny and deny.
The truth is an outcast. The truth is an enemy. The truth is something to crucify and you can be sure that has happened and will again. It doesn’t matter if the particular well known historical event occurred or not. The symbolism of the thing is a real archetypal fact that you see happen every day in small and great ways around the world as tribute to the lie that rules the conditions of this and all preceding lives.
Whether you believe in the historical reality of this person it is hard to imagine that any sane person would disagree with the message yet we violate it reflexively, automatically. We push it aside because it interferes with business and Caesar has never been more powerful than he is today.
I’m not a Christian or a Muslim though I have served in these capacities as I have made my way. I decided that I liked the guy with the elephants head. It’s no more absurd than any of the others and if your God can walk on water and rise from the dead then my God can have an elephant’s head. I don’t think it matters what image you choose and for those who believe in nothing well... think about that for a moment and tell me if it is even possible. We know so little about the meaning of life because we know so little about ourselves. All I know is that whatever God there may or may not be he has always used human hands.
Well... there’s any number of people will tell you I don’t know what I’m talking about and I’ve no problem agreeing with then. The plus side for me is that I know full well that they don’t know either. Something is coming up in the first part of this year and I do not know what to tell you about that. What I know is that this weight is a really heavy thing and I could not imagine that I have the power to continue to move under it but somehow I do. I know that many of my readers feel this because you tell me.
If you see the water starting to rise I want you to think about green things growing and ancient ruins on high ground because somehow the key to our continuing is contained there. I want you to think of this and not think of the marketplaces and the never ending lies we are surrounded by that crucify the truth. There’s nothing religious about this. Not many people know that the reason the Templars were exterminated with extreme prejudice is because they said you didn’t need priests to intercede on your behalf. That was the kicker and because it’s all lies all the time it’s something you don’t get told like so many things you don’t get told.
Those black birds are gone now but I’m still here. I guess you are too. Keep your weather eye out because there are some heavy bears lumbering through the landscape and the sugar they are looking for is you.
'Beautiful Little Oriental Girls' is track no. 3 of 12 on Visible's 2007 album 'Almost A Capella'