Saturday, June 4, 2005

The Poetry of Saddam Hussein

Soon the former close friend and business partner of Donald Rumsfield and Dick Cheney will be brought to trial. It is always sad to see a falling out amongst friends over something like money and power but in the Satanic Community of Global Plunder this is all too frequently occurs.

I have had the opportunity to correspond with Sadie (as Saddam has begged me to address him) and through our email exchanges I have been privileged to be one of the first to read his poetry. Sadly I must say, these early pieces seem filled with anger and much of it is directed at g.w.b. I suppose that is understandable.

Still, there is a certain rough elegance, a certain beauty to the works and perhaps some of you will find enjoyment, if not peace in them. I hope to translate more of what I have received in the coming weeks.

We’ve heard it said that Saddam wasn’t a very nice fellow. The many splintered roads of individual destiny lead through strange countryside it is true. We cannot know what made Saddam into the man he is (and soon ‘was’) any more than we can fathom how the members of the present American administration have managed to outdo him in all areas of violence, destruction and hypocrisy. Maybe we, as Americans, are just better at that sort of thing. Maybe it’s genetic.

In any case, I leave you with this small selection from the poetry of Saddam Hussein

First, some Haiku-

I met george w bush
at a satanic mixer
he blows me in Hell

Carlyle was my friend
until like Noriega
my world was downsized

I had the bush twins
not an entertaining ride
camels are much better

I would analyze these works for you but I am late for dinner and people are waiting in the car.

"I am waiting"

My country is gone
now it is a construction site
for the apocalypse
I should have taken the money but
I was proud
the Baghdad bootie bandits
ass rape my nation
pornography and liquor
pour into her streets

that's democracy for you
you can have it even if
you don't want it

I am now waiting for the first signs
to go up on billboards across the land
Allah's Fast Falafels-
a division of Burger King

"My People"

I knew my people were stupid
And I knew they were better off
I did not know that the American people were
even stupider than mine

they believe everything they are told
it does not matter how outrageous the lie
my people did not believe everything I told them
but they knew better than to say anything.

I had to routinely kill
so many every day
Love is good but fear is better

In America it is not necessary to kill anyone
What a nation of cowards
I have never before seen slaves who were
unaware of their station
and arrogant about it.

They will leave Iraq without the oil
they will leave bloody and ashamed
they will proclaim another victory
and give Palestine the blame.

Pussy Boy George

little georgie bush is my pussy boy
yes, we knew they would win the battle
just as we will win the war.
you cannot win a war waged by a pussy boy;
a pussy boy who was afraid to go to war
a pussy boy who hid and did drugs while others died
a pussy boy who was a cheerleader in college
he has no respect
he is a wooden Indian
he cannot hold Bill Clintons cigars
he is a tin horn dictator
I am a real dictator
I will see little georgie bush again
I will see him without his armies
without his money
I will see him in Hell and then
I will fuck him and I will pass him around
I will dress him in a denim skirt and
I will sell him for cigarettes
Hell will not be pretty for georgie bush
Hell is for hard men like me.

and he even wrote a Limerick...

There once was a psycho from Crawford
a really low rent Peter Lawford
he killed and he lied
and boy he was wide
he took every dime that was offered

Car horn is honking, got to go. Next week we’ll try to have some more of this available for you. Saddam is going to be offering his collected works of poetry in hardcover soon. It is his hope that all proceeds will go toward legal efforts to make it possible for Michael Jackson to be his cellmate.


Anonymous said...

Great stuff.

Anonymous said...

outstanding! You crack me up.

Port Washington

Anonymous said...

Very, very funny. I'm sending this out to my friends.


Anonymous said...

Classic! Great Stuff!!!


Anonymous said...

heh heh, pass Bush around and sell his ass to convicts for cigarettes. I'd pay a lot of money to see that.

Anonymous said...

You ought to be writing for Saturday Night Live. God knows they could use it. Some of this shit is super funny.



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