Saturday, March 4, 2006

Future Nobel Peace Prize Winner- Nonie Darwish tells it like it is

Please note that this essay is SATIRE. Apparently Nonie is all hot and bothered about it. Satire, as far as I know, is not yet a crime. If you think about it the real tragedy is that it doesn't read as satire when measured against this woman's actual words and actions.


Zionist front lady...

No, really?

...and Beverly Hills “Peace Activist’ Nonie Darwish sipped at a cup of warm Palestinian children’s blood and talked with us today about her plans for peace in the Middle East. We asked her about her protest against the film “Paradise Now” and why she feels it shouldn’t be shown anywhere.

Beautiful as always

She replied that Arabs were never meant to be equal in any respect to Israelis and that it is their refusal to accept their lot as a lesser life form that has contributed to all of the problems in the world today. In a direct quote she said, “It would probably be better for everyone if the Palestinian people were exterminated from the face of the Earth, the Israelis need the land and God gave them the land including all of Syria and most of Iraq and pretty much anything that they want because God also told the Israelis that they should rule the Earth and that everyone else should serve them.” We asked Nonie where she got this information and she said the Israelis told her, so it must be so.

“Paradise Now glorifies suicide bombers. Suicide bombers don’t have uniforms. They don’t march in tight ranks and they don’t have the kind of corporate connections that legitimize an army, therefore they are violent insects and must be exterminated.” Nonie smiled when she said this and shifted coquettishly in her seat, giving us a warm motherly smile while attempting to give a flip to her polyurethaned hair. She further told us that when Israel attacked her own country of Egypt that they were entirely in the right because ‘certain’ Egyptians were thinking bad thoughts about the Israelis. “It is perfectly fine for the imported Khazars to take over Palestinian homelands because they wanted them and that should certainly be reason enough. The Israelis refused to recognize any rights by the Palestinians for anything because they wanted Jerusalem, which was their right, so they murdered their families and drove them into the desert and then poisoned their ancient wells. And what happened? These Palestinian insects refused to recognize Israel as if that were some kind of a reason. Can you not see the criminal nature of a race of people who behave in this manner?” Once again she gave us that warm embracing smile that makes her such a powerful spokesperson for Arab causes.

We asked her if the Palestinians, often having no other weapons but rocks, with nowhere to live weren’t using the only thing at their disposal to defend themselves against genocide. “Hah!” she said, "and why should they be allowed to defend themselves at all? It is their destiny to serve a master race. Is it moral or legal to resist the commands of your betters? I think not.”

I remember the day of our interview so well. Before I talked with Nonie I had had all sorts of conflicting ideas in my mind. Somehow I had gotten the mistaken idea that Palestinians were people. Talking with Nonie helped me to understand that they weren’t people at all and it didn’t matter what happened to them. She explained to me that the Palestinians served an important purpose in the Zionist game plan and in that regard they did have a certain amount of value. “When an IDF soldier shoots a Palestinian child we have to consider all of the collateral benefits that accrue as a result. The soldiers are able to test their weapons. They are able to improve their targeting skills. Israeli munitions companies benefit and the economy is made more robust. In this way the Palestinians do provide an important service. They’re not all bad, these Palestinians. Israel is working for peace all over the world. When the apartheid government was having trouble with their own insects in South Africa, Israel was right there to assist them tactically as well as with interrogation techniques and weaponry. It is truly unfortunate that the communist agitator Nelson Mandela was released from prison. At that time, though it grieved the hearts of the compassionate Israeli government, they chose to withdraw and have no further connection with the South Africans. Many of us still grieve over that.” Nonie crossed her sleek legs and gave us that seductive eye contact that has made her an object of desire the world over.

She’s a beautiful woman, no question. I had to constantly adjust my trousers because of the increasing tumescence caused by my proximity to this fabulous woman and tireless worker for world peace. She seemed to me of equal parts Mahatma Gandhi and Veronica Lake. How can I describe to you the powerful magnetism of this fascinating woman? I cannot.

“You see how clear it is.” she continued, “everywhere in the world Israelis are working for peace, In PNAC, in AIPAC and many other organizations. They even created their own Al Qaeda cell in a Palestinian area in order to spread peace. They assisted in the wonderful attack on the World Trade Center that has made so many peace initiatives possible the world over. Consider the Afghanistan and Iraq wars and the coming carpet bombing of Syria and Iran. Everywhere you look Israel is in the vanguard of the universal peace initiative. We must now stop this filthy film from receiving any attention at all. I’m sure you agree that it will only serve to agitate and possibly injure our collective effort to make this world what it has always been destined to be, one world under Israel.”

I could only nod my head and sit in awe of this woman’s clear and lovely understanding of how it should all be. I imagined myself as a dog curled at her feet, hoping for any sign of attention; a kick or even only harsh words; it would not matter to me.

“Zionism should be the first concern of honest Arabs everywhere. It is such a tragedy that all Arabs do not yet comprehend that their first duty is to see that all of Israel’s needs are met. What does an Arab life matter anyway?” she gave me a sultry moue and handed off her cup to an attendant for a refill.

“You’re a Christian aren’t you?” I asked. “She gazed off into space for a moment as her eyes took on a luminescent deliquescence. A look of child like wonder came over her face and I was reminded of the icons of early Christian saints that I had seen in museums and diplomatic pouches during my days in the Russian immigration service. “Yes, I love Jesus Christ with all of my heart. It is the teachings of Jesus that I use as a guide in all that I say and do. Jesus was the first Zionist. He believed in Israel first and always told us to look in our hearts for the Star of David that is tattooed there by God.”

Like those few exceptional people before her I could see that Nonie had been chosen to be one of those select few in that small club of, “God is on MY side.” I could now see Jesus as a divine hood ornament on the Israeli bulldozers in lands stolen by the Palestinians. I could see Jesus rising up with a flaming sword over the craven form of that communist agitator Rachel Corrie. I could see Jesus everywhere, riding in the American war planes, working in newspaper offices, his hands stained with printers ink as he pasted cartoons into the print master, smiting everyone and everything that stood in the way of humanity’s glorious future. Jesus marched through the corridors of Congress. He learned over the shoulders of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney as these righteous heroes marched at the head of conquering armies. He sat at the boardroom table of the corporations of Carlyle and Halliburton. He ate at a McDonalds in Baghdad’s Green Zone.

It is far past the time for all of us to realize that we are and have all always been Palestinian insects of one type or another. We are drones with a destiny. We are here to serve the interests of our masters and world peace can only come when we fully realize that it is not what happens to us that matters but how well we sacrificed ourselves in the process.

I left with renewed hope and a greater sense of purpose. Nonie Darwish had awakened me to a higher and nobler cause. May the dream and sacrifice of Nonie in Beverly Hills awaken all of us to a finer understanding. May all of us join together to crush Palestinians wherever they may be whether they are in front of us, behind us, or inside us.

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

fucking outstanding!

Erin

Anonymous said...

Amen!

Lew Scannon said...

The more they tell me I can't see this film, the more i want to see it.

Baramundini said...

Thank you for that! Right on the proverbial fucking money. Did you see what they did to Alan Rickman in London? As over the top as your portrayal is it isn't off by much, if at all.

Anonymous said...

When I was young, I was lucky enough to spend time in Beirut, just before the troubles. I had grown up with a romantic vision of Israel (via "Exodus") of these plucky people fighting for a land that was theirs. Funny.....how movies (and other tools of culture) can twist the ignorant mind.

When I was exposed to the reality of the "other side", I truly came into my own. I had been shown how huge, death dealing lies can be spread with intent to kill. To kill the real owners of the land, to kill their history, to kill the truth. It was so easy, wasn't it? Cast a likable guy like Yul Brenner as a hero facing enormous odds (and winning) and those who have no access to "what really happened" are internally deformed to your intent.

Despite their terrible poverty, hardship and suffering, the Palestinians in the refugee camps could not have been more hospitable. Though I was an American, identifiable as belonging to a group that supported their enemy, they went out of their way to make me feel like family (such is their way). Any one of them would have given me the (their only) shirt off of their backs. I have never encountered people with so much soul, so connected to the land, so attached to their families. You literally couldn't pick another people who would suffer more trauma from the theft of home than these, and yet these are the ones that the Zionists tar as "sub-human" and even more ironically, "terrorists".

Of all of the lies that have been told to the American people (it boggles the mind to reflect on it, doesn't it?), none is larger and more off kilter than that we are told about the Palestinians. How is it that the Zionists have had so much power to continue this lie unchallenged, for generations? The truth needs desperately to be told, outside of the censorship that is identified in Les Viz's article. The greatest fear the Israelis have is that the world would ever get a chance to view the plight of the Palestinians outside of the lens of Zionist censors. This issue is, when you look at it objectively, driving most of the discord in the world today, echoing from a tiny place in the mid-east to the surrounding oil regions, to the economies of the world. America's media has been a willing partner in the cultivation of one of the biggest, grossest illusions on the planet today, and that media needs to be over-ridden by platforms outside of their control, such as blogs like this. Bravo Les, mahalo for your work in polishing the lens of truth so that the issue can be seen without any further distortion!

Anonymous said...

geezus that gave me the creeps. in spite of it being "embellished", the fact is that truth really is stranger than fiction. thanks les, annemarie

Anonymous said...

Man this is a great blog and this is a fantastic satirical sendup. Thank you very much, I needed that.

Squeezer said...

I'm sending this off to that bitch pronto. She's got a website with all kinds of right wing links on it. I'll bet she'll be real glad to get it.

To the guy that was in Beirut, that is a powerful statement my friend, thanks for laying that out. I'm 100% in agreement about this blog. This is a truth site.

Of course truth sites attract nutters and liars like my man mighty thor who did all the Apollonian posts in the last few blog entries. Too bad blogs don't come with roach motels.

Anonymous said...

At the same time, it's good to maintain internal filters to avoid anti-Zionism from creeping into reflexive anti-Judaism, or other whatever-ism or anti-whatever-ism.

Isms make prisms. Dem prisms got ward'ms.

Les Visible said...

I appreciate that and thank you for saying it. you are quite right. For the same reason one should not equate the sincere and earnest Christian with the fundie Nazi's nor the wise and generous Muslims I have met with the Wahabi sectarians and Sharia practitioners. It's always the same struggle for the light blocked by the same shadows. These conditions do not change, only we do.

Let me also say to the man from Beirut, well done.

Anonymous said...

Thor/Apples
You make my head mighty thor with your drivel cobber
If you can't be constructive, don't be part of the problem
And the problem is there are idiots who insist the world go their way or not at all, who insist on force feeding us with excrement – you’re just as gross as they in your mosquitoish way

t

nostroshamus said...

I was looking through the archives and I noticed that you have been doing this for near on exactly one year. I did a search at www.whatreallyhappened.com (where I first found you) and see that you have been linked there 23 times, near on exactly twice a month.

Kudos to Michael Rivero for his good taste in getting the message out and to you for nailing the fuckheads who are screwing up the world. As far as I'm concerned you keep improving your delivery so kudos to you as well and Happy Birthday too!

In this age of disinformation that has swept the truth under a carpet of lies, the bloggers are on the front lines of getting the truth out. Congratulations are in order for all of you who can probably no longer fly on airplanes.

Sometimes it seems like it is getting better as more and more evil is exposed and sometimes it seems like it is getting worse when each new revelation makes no more difference than the one before it. The way I calculate it, this summer is going to deliver widespread insanity. It's either going to be very good after or it is going to be much worse. We have all got to be as present and relentless as possible because the fuckers from the dark side are not giving up.

DiaGnostic said...

I really enjoy this blog, if the majority of people would understand as well as you, this would be the New York Times.

deathchica said...

C'mon - she has a problem with islam and it's compounded problems thanks to certain aspects of arab culture. Mostly she has a problem with Islam. What you didn't seem to read in her attitude is that she isn't saying *arabs* are lesser than anyone, she is saying arabs are lesser because of *islam*. Islam creates a cultural mindset that leads to a society becoming harsh, unforgiving, backwards and downright scary to all those that live *in* it as well as those who have to interact with such a society.

I have to say she is not wrong in the fact that the palestinians are that much harder to sympathize with because of their following this hardcore religion.

I remember, during one huge peace march in Berlin, *for* the middle-east palestinians and *against* the hardcore zionism + neocon action...there was an immigrant palestinian there who was in this march. Accompanying him was his little girl (about 4-ish years old)...guess what she was dressed as (AK-47 toting, shawl-wrapped-face jihadi-look). You can be sure it made everyone wonder wtf they were marching for...


Nothing can help these people till they don't give up this radical violent religion. After they get their asses saved by the rest of us denouncing/fighting zionism, what will we be left with? Yet another Undemocratic, Unhuman (suppression of women etc) society that will belong to the 4th world. I feel you are being rather hard on this woman (who I've heard of for the first time via your blogpost).

Les Visible said...

Myabe you should go to her website and check out the links http://www.noniedarwish.com
/pages/745434/index.htm that she has there on the page and then you may have a clearer picture via her chosen associates. It usually isn't comprehensive to say someone is being hard on someone you just heard about if you don't know anything about them and I don't give two shits about some single moment you saw in a parade somewhere. Moreover, your generalized summation of Arab culture and whatever it's destiny may be leaves something to be desired.

Tiger Eye said...

Les visible:

Jonathan Swift, if there is an after life inwhich this world can be observed, is probably ecstatic that satire is still alive and well. Life has become so bizarre, at times, that one finds it hard to distinguish fact from satire.

Propaganda obscures the difference between the art form of satire and fact because it distorts reality. A sense for inherited moral integrity will always win out in the end. Political satire is the strongest defense against lies and evil intent.

Thanks for maintaining the art form.

Anonymous said...

"I have to say she is not wrong in the fact that the palestinians are that much harder to sympathize with because of their following this hardcore religion".

Nice display of ignorance and prejudice there deathchica! As far as I'm concerned *all* religion is asinine but your choice of Islam as the one to knock says a lot about you. Is Islam more hardcore than, say, Judaism? Not by a long shot. No other religion claims that one people are superior, that "God" is the god of that people only. If you examine it rationally and objectively (not that you're capable of such a thing) you'll see that it is a structured form of racism that gives rationale to the horrible extremes of Zionism... displayed in the cold-blooded murder of Palestinian children or in the pathological laughter of the bulldozer driver who went out of his way to crush Rachel Corrie.

You say "Islam creates a cultural mindset that leads to a society becoming harsh, unforgiving, backwards and downright scary to all those that live *in* it as well as those who have to interact with such a society"...and I can only respond with "you're kidding, right?". What society is harsher, more unforgiving, more backwards or scarier than Israel?

Frankly, I think that the Jews as a people are suffering from a very intense form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to what happened to them in WWII (which manifests in behaviour mimicking their Nazi tormentors) but this disorder isn't treated by arming the sufferers to the teeth (as the US has done with Israel) and allowing them to act out their psychosis on innocent children.

You need to rethink your impression of Islam, which seems to be based on the Arab reaction to having a criminally insane thief/murderer thrown in their midst and having this lunatic armed and protected by the most powerful country in the world. That's enough to incite some powerful reaction from Israel's neighbors (who just happen to be Muslims) but rather than point to that reaction, you might want to cast a glance at the *cause* of that reaction before you write off Islam as a "radical, violent religion"....

If you knew anything about history you'd realize that this "hardcore religion" was peacefully going about it's own business (nonviolently at that) until the Jews decided to pirate the land that they'd left nearly 2000 years before. If you could muster enough objectivity to see it from the Arab point of view you'd see that this is an issue of justice that you've confused with the religion of those that have been legally "harmed" and who naturally express outrage at the position taken by Israel (and it's backer, the US). These are two different things that have been intentionally conflated by the Zionist in order to smear Islam. In your case, this has obviously been effective, leading you (sheep that you are) to view the victims as victimizers. Nice trick, that.

Anonymous said...

fab

nobody said...

Here's a question I've been asking for a while now -

How exactly should Palestinians object to their fifty year occupation?

Not that I bother getting into arguments with trolls anymore but that question always shut them up. I've yet to see anyone answer it.

jomama said...

Ok, Les.

Is it moral or legal to resist the commands of your betters?

No. And since I've found no one better than me, I never resist...myself.

Simple, ain't it.

Anonymous said...

Heads up, bubba.

http://fray.slate.com/?id=3936&m=17113356

Anonymous said...

heads up, bubba

http://fray.slate.com/?id=3936&m=17113356

Anonymous said...

(heh) the dude thinks that Appolonius writes this blog? So much for the rest of his boring theories, eh?

Visible said...

I take it you are the same troll from the other site. No doubt you think I'm writing over there instead. Too bad you don't know anything at all isn't it?

If you like you can email me (appolonious- some of the time- and it will go to my Les Visible address and then I can reply. It's sort of stupid though when my name appears here when I log in.

Are you having fun yet?

Why Palestinians Usually Get It Wrong said...

Remembering Rachel Corrie - A Supporter of Terrorism

Three years ago Thursday, Rachel Corrie was accidentally killed by an Israeli bulldozer after she entered a closed Israeli military zone to protect Palestinian homes that were sitting on top of tunnels used by Palestinian terrorists to smuggle illegal weapons to be used against Israeli civilians. Rachel Corrie was a member of the International Solidarity Movement (ISD), a firm supporter of Palestinian terrorism (what the ISD calls “resistance”), “by any means necessary.”

There has been a lot of heated debated about the New York Theater Workshop’s recent postponement of the play, My Name Is Rachel Corrie.Some folks have suggested that the theatre caved intoIsrael supporters. Other, more paranoid types, have suggested that the infamous “Israel Lobby” had something to do with the postponement.

The photogrpahs on the right show Rachel Corrie burning an American flag to show her support of Palestinians and choosing to lay in front of an Israeli Bulldozer in the hopes of protecting tunnels used by Palestinian terrorists to smuggle illegal weapons.

One of the reasons that the Israeli army closed the area that was being bulldozed was because Palestinian snipers often shoot at bulldozer crews. This endagers not only Israelis, but "peace activists" as well. Palestinian terrorism insures that Israeli bulldozers have very litlte visibility because of the need to protect the driver with metal shielding. Ms. Corrie chose to lay down in front of a bulldozer. Her act was not one of peace, but of suicide. Clearly Ms. Corrie spent too much time in the company of suicide killers and their supporters.

Perhaps the New York Theater Workshop simply realized that they did not want to be associated with Rachel Corrie because Ms. Corrie supported terrorism and allowed herself, either knowingly or unknowingly, to protect Palestinian terrorists. Perhaps the theatre company did not want to be associated with Ms. Corrie because she was eager to publicly burn American flags. Or perhaps the theater simply did not want to be associated with the left’s obsession with supporting anti-Semitism.

http://whypalestiniansgetitwrong.blogspot.com/

palestiniansgetitwrong@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

For the last commenter here, I have to say that it is rare that someone as full of shit as yourself shows up here. I imagine that the owner of this blog let your comment appear because it is such an example of someone who is completely full of shit.

On behalf of Rachel Corrie and the human race let me say fuck you and may you soon find something worse than a rampaging bulldozer for yourself you execrable piece of Zionist shit. Sooner or later your vicious murder and enslavement of the Palestinians is going to end and you are going to Hell.

Erin

Why Palestinians Usually Get It Wrong said...

Come and check out my collection of Rachel Corrie jokes. http://whypalestiniansgetitwrong.blogspot.com/2006/04/rachel-corrie-jokes-come-and-get-em-i_01.html

Anonymous said...

Islam is Facism. when you figure it out, let me know

Visible said...

Why Colonel Kurtz, what an honor!

Anonymous said...

well written, I see the excellence in the sarcasm here (of course i do not take those quotes literally),
having spoken to her personally, I feel exactly the same way, the warm motherly smile...
after "speaking for peace."
long live the zionists is her motto... this woman represents everything that is evil and wrong to me, wouldn't surprise me if she received funds directly or indirectly from the mossad, she is the perfect neocon tool, the perfect disinformation agent... very few of us non brainwashed people see that in fact, she has no rational arguements in the Israel situation, would she answer a question about mossad? not a chance, she argues with emotions, and propaganda of islam being a cult of hate and of violence.